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The study of modern marriage in southeastern Nigeria, and particularly married women’s risk of HIV infection in the context of prevalent male infidelity, was undertaken primarily in one period of research. I spent June-December 2004 in Nigeria, living in a household in Ubakala that included a married woman, several children, and a migrant husband, and in Owerri with a young newlywed couple. Four local research assistants were hired to assist with marital case study interviews in both sites and to contribute to participant observation in Owerri. Two female research assistants conducted the marital case study interviews with women in Ubakala, while I conducted the interviews with men. In Owerri, male and female assistants conducted marital case study interviews with men and women, respectively, and also undertook participant observation in married households and in contexts related to extramarital sex, such as bars, clubs, and brothels. I conducted participant observation in both Ubakala and Owerri, and was also responsible for key informant interviews in each venue. Key informants included community leaders, religious leaders, government and non-government medical and public health officials, commercial sex workers, and people living with HIV/AIDS. I also collected popular cultural and archival materials related to marriage, sexuality, and Nigeria’s HIV epidemic.
Marital case studies were conducted with 20 couples, 14 residing in Ubakala and six residing in Owerri. The couples were selected opportunistically with the objective of sampling marriages of different generations and duration, couples with a range of socioeconomic and educational profiles, and, of course, those living in both rural and urban settings. People in Owerri and Ubakala are better off economically than in many other regions of Nigeria. While the sample in the marital case studies is skewed to what might be described as an aspiring middle class (most couples were not actually middle class), because of rising education levels and increasing urban exposure that are common in southeastern Nigeria, most Igbo people share many characteristics and aspirations evident in the sample. For individual couples, men were almost always older than their wives (typically 5–10 years) and tended to have higher incomes. However, educational disparities between husbands and wives, while skewed in favor of men, were relatively minimal, reflecting both the overall increase in access to education, and people’s preference to marry partners of similar accomplishment. Interviews were conducted in three parts, generally in three sessions, each approximately one to one and a half hours in duration. Husbands and wives were interviewed separately. All respondents agreed to participation after being presented with protocols for informed consent approved by institutional review boards in both the US and Nigeria. The first interview concentrated primarily on premarital experiences, courtship, and the early stages of marriage. The second interview examined in greater depth the overall experience of marriage, including issues such as marital communication, decision-making, childrearing, resolution of disputes, relations with family, and changes in the marital relationship over time. The final interview focused on marital sexuality, extramarital sexual relationships, and understandings and experiences regarding HIV/AIDS. All interviews were tape recorded and transcribed. In this article, I focus on couples that were married in the 10 years prior to the interview in order to examine the transition to marriage and the ways that women adapt to married life in the cohort most affected by recent and ongoing changes in courtship and marriage.
Most Igbo men and women enter marriage with premarital experience in romantic and sexual relationships. With later age at marriage and high rates of rural-urban migration that place unmarried young people farther away from the moral gaze of their parents, their extended families, and their communities, opportunities for premarital relationships are common. Further, sexual and romantic relationships before marriage are widely seen as markers of being urban and educated (Smith 2000, Cornwall 2002), but also as a sort of rehearsal for marriage (Smith 2004b).
Of course there are many different kinds of premarital relationships, and whether they serve as a precursor to marriage depends partly on the nature of the relationship. For example, a young woman in a relationship with an older married man would almost never think of displacing the man’s wife. The age and life course position of the individuals are crucial in situating the purpose, meaning, and possible outcomes of a premarital relationship. A young woman beginning university would be less likely to be “looking for a husband,” as Nigerians like to say, than a woman in her late 20s, whom society views as quickly approaching the end of her marriageable years. Regardless of whether sexual relationships evolve into marriage, premarital experiences create expectations that both set the stage for and contrast with the gendered division of labor that is characteristic of marriage. Of particular interest here is the dynamic between interpersonal intimacy and material exchange—or, more crudely, between love and money.

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